Comparison: The Thief of Joy — or the Great Garden Motivator?
I’m determined to keep these flowers blooming!
There’s a gardener I love to watch on YouTube with AH-MA-ZING gardens (Hi, Laura!). I’m especially obsessed with her big concrete containers overflowing with annuals—blooms spilling out like confetti, all season long. How does she do it? Why do my petunias get leggy and wilted by July? Am I a terrible gardener?
Comparison. You’d think it wouldn’t creep its way into our happy world of garden bliss, but oh—it does. Thanks to the internet, we can see millions of other people’s gardens, always looking their best. Meanwhile, our own garden might be a little bug-bitten, a little drought-stressed, or frankly just messy. Cue the spiral of “What am I doing wrong?”
But here’s the truth: comparison doesn’t have to be the thief of joy. It can also be a motivator. A clue. A breadcrumb on the trail toward a better garden. The difference is your mindset.
Instead of letting myself feel inferior, I try to pause and get curious. I look closely at what that YouTube gardener is doing and where she’s gardening. Then I assess what I can and can’t replicate in my own space. A steady schedule of watering and fertilizing? I can try that. A zone 6 climate with cool nights and zero humidity? Not in Middle Tennessee, baby.
If You’re Feeling Discouraged, Try This:
1. Let Yourself Off the Hook
Social media is a highlight reel. That perfect garden shot? You’re seeing it after ten tries, from the best angle, with the weeds cropped out. That gardener may have years of experience, a greenhouse, a full-time staff, or just more time and money than you do. You’re not behind. You’re on your own path.
2. Get Inspired
Instead of feeling like you’re failing, take that envy and turn it into inspiration. Maybe you do want a flower-packed entryway or a tomato harvest worthy of a roadside stand. Great! That’s something to aim for. Add it to your garden goals list and build toward it. But remember, you don’t have to do it all this season.
3. Get Informed
Here’s where the magic happens. Ask yourself: What can I change? What skills or tools could make the difference? Ask questions in the comments section, DM your favorite garden account, or just Google like a boss. Most gardeners are so happy to share tips. Start with simple questions:
“What variety of zinnia is that?”
“How many tomato plants do you grow?”
“How often do you fertilize your pots?”
4. Celebrate Progress
Before you toss your gloves in the compost bin in frustration, go flip through your camera roll. Look at your garden two months ago—or even last year. That tiny patch of dirt? You turned it into a place where food and beauty grow. Your past self would be so impressed.
5. Find the Right Kind of Garden Friends
One of the best ways to stay grounded is to surround yourself with real people—online or in real life—who are sharing the whole story. Not just the lush harvest baskets and bloom-filled borders, but the powdery mildew, the squirrel thefts, the failed okra experiment. When you hear the full story, you stop feeling so alone.
The Real Garden Glow-Up
To create a garden that glows like the ones you see on Instagram, it’s not about buying more plants or being “better.” It’s about tuning into your own space. It’s about experimenting, noticing, and growing alongside your plants.
And remember—gardening is not a competition. It’s a practice. A relationship. A source of joy, peace, and purpose. When comparison comes knocking, meet it with curiosity instead of criticism. Ask, “What can I learn here?” and “What’s already working for me?” Your garden will thank you for it.
Want to Grow with a Guide?
If this blog hit home, a one-on-one garden coaching session might be just what you need. We love helping Middle Tennessee gardeners problem-solve, dream big, and build the knowledge they need to feel confident in their own garden journey. Whether you’re comparing your garden to Pinterest, your neighbor, or just your own expectations, a little expert input can make all the difference.
Contact us to get info on coaching sessions for the rest of the 2025 season. Let’s make this the year you fall in love with your own garden all over again.
